SHOCKING SCANDAL ROCKS GOP: VIVEK RAMASWAMY’S FAMILY BODYGUARD ARRESTED IN MA*SIVE D*UG TRAFFICKING CASE.c1

 A SHOCKING DISCOVERY UNDER THE HOLIEST SITE IN JERUSALEM — AND WHY NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT IT

It started with a whisper.

A rumor from the excavation team working under one of the holiest sites on Earth — the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem — where archaeologists were conducting a routine restoration of what is traditionally believed to be the Tomb of Jesus.

Routine, of course, being a word that never ages well in the same sentence as “Jesus’ tomb.”

Because a few weeks ago, the digging stopped.

Abruptly.

Unscheduled.

Mysteriously.

According to eyewitnesses, workers who had been quietly chiseling and documenting the layers beneath the ancient tomb suddenly backed away, pale and whispering to one another, while supervisors ordered an immediate halt to all excavation activity.

No press conference.

No explanation.

Just the kind of silence that makes conspiracy theorists sprout like mushrooms after a thunderstorm.

What was found down there?
An inscription?
A relic?
A secret chamber?
A Starbucks receipt from 33 AD?

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